Tooth or Dare Read online

  Mom reaches into her bag and pulls out a sea apple and plops it into my fin. “If your toothache is gone, then why don’t you eat this nice crunchy sea apple?”

  I look at the crunchy sea apple.

  I look at Mom.

  There’s no way I can eat it.

  Mom does the mom-face and takes the sea apple back.

  “Harry Hammer?”

  I look up. The dentist’s door is open and the eight-tentacled, orange-skinned, ink-expelling dentist, Doctorpus Jones is looking right at me with her huge eyes. “Would you like to come in?” she says.

  “Oh.” I say quickly, “I didn’t realize I had a choice. In that case, no. I wouldn’t.”

  But before I can make my escape, Mom fins me in the back and sends me floating straight into the wriggly tentacles of the dentist. The dentist does something strange with her mouth. I think it’s supposed to be a smile, but it just makes me think of chopped squid strips in gravy.

  I want to turn away from Doctorpus Jones and all of her tentacles, but Mom is right behind me, and soon we’re in the dimly lit exam room. I look around wildly for whatever machine was making that zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket-zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket noise.

  Doctorpus Jones leads me to a chair with two of her tentacles, while shaking Mom by the fin with another, while tinkling in a tray of instruments with three more, while holding up my paperwork to her eyes with another, while scratching an itch on her head with the last one.

  It’s very confusing describing an octopus multitask.

  Doctorpus Jones settles me in the chair with two tentacles, while putting on her mask with two others, while pulling up her chair with three more, and pushing her glasses up her nose with the last. I start to worry about what’s coming next. I still haven’t worked out what made that horrible noise, and I’m getting very nervous about it.

  “Let’s have a look shall we?” says Doctorpus Jones, pulling at my chin with two tentacles, while holding up some silvery dentist tools with four others.

  The dim light in the exam room glints off the shiny tools and flickers across the room. It’s like being trapped in the world’s scariest disco.

  Mom holds my fin. I’m not sure if it’s to comfort me or stop me from swimming away at top speed!

  Zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket-zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket.

  Terrified, I leap from the chair, dragging Mom with me, and crash into the ceiling.

  “What’s that noise?” I yell in terror. “What are you going to do to me?”

  Doctorpus Jones has to use seven tentacles to grab hold of me and one to anchor herself to the chair. “Oh, that,” she says with another of her weird smiles. “That’s my coffee machine. I can’t get through a morning’s dentisting without my coffee!”

  She points one of her tentacles to a coffee machine hiding in the shadows at the back of the exam room.

  Zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket-zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket.

  Zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket-zzzzzzzz-ket ket ket.

  “Coffee’s ready!” says Doctorpus Jones.

  I feel very stupid.

  Back in the chair again, Doctorpus Jones gets down to business, holding my chin with two tentacles, while exploring my mouth with three tentacles, while writing her notes with two others, while stirring her fresh cup of coffee with the last.

  “Well, Harry,” she says, “What a silly boy you’ve been. Just to win a competition you’ve given yourself a horrible toothache, and I’m going to have to give you eighteen fillings.”

  I feel very sorry for myself.

  “But don’t worry, the fillings will make those teeth a lot stronger, so they’ll last much longer.”

  “So they won’t fall out before Monday?” I ask.

  “No, Harry. They’ll probably still be there next year.”

  Great.

  “And before we begin, I see from your paperwork that you’ve fired your pilot fish.” Doctorpus Jones frowns at me. “Let me tell you, Harry, there’s nothing more important to your teeth than a good pilot fish giving them a clean twice a day. I don’t ever want to see you here without a pilot fish again. Is that clear?”

  I nod sadly.

  “Good, then we’ll begin.”

  Eighteen fillings later, we’re leaving the exam room and my mouth feels like someone has stuffed two finballs in it. At least the pain’s gone, but my lips are so numb, I can’t speak without dribbling.

  Mom’s being more sympathetic now as she holds my fin, taking great care not to squeeze it too much.

  “Hello, rubberhead!” a voice hisses in my ear. I look up. It’s Rick!

  Just what I need right now-Rick seeing me like this.

  Rick’s with his mom, Rosy Reef. While his mom and my mom chat about boring stuff, Rick stares at me with a huge holey smile. “What’s up with your mouth, rubberhead?”

  “Ish been to tsh dentisht.”

  “Say it, don’t spray it!” Rick laughs.

  “Ish hash had an anaeshtheshtic.”

  “Are you saying I’ve been shipwrecked?” Rick smirks.

  “Nosh! Ish hash had an an-aesh-thesh-tic!”

  “Are you saying you’ve become a spit monster?”

  “Nosh!”

  “Can’t wait to tell everyone at school you’ve turned into a spit monster!” Rick says gleefully.

  Great.

  The worst Saturday ever just got even worse.

  Later that afternoon there’s a knock on my bedroom door. Still feeling really sorry for myself, I go to open it.

  It’s Ralph.

  “I got your text,” he mutters.

  Ralph still looks pretty angry, but at least he came.

  My mouth has been reduced to just one finball size now, and my lips are working properly again.

  Mostly.

  “What do you want?” Ralph asks suspiciously.

  “I wanted to apologishe.”

  “Yeah, I bet you do. But only because you want me back so you don’t have to see Doctorpus Jones again.”

  I shake my hammer. “No-I’ve been silly. You’re my besht friend, and I’d have you back even if you didn’t clean my teesh again.”

  “Really?”

  “Yesh. Really.”

  Ralph looks relieved. “I’ve missed you too. I will come back, and I will continue cleaning your teeth. Okay?”

  “Thanksh.”

  Ralph looks at my bedside crabinet and sees that I’ve been writing. “What’s that?”

  “A lisht.”

  “A lisht?” Ralph grins.

  “Don’t you shtart. I had enough of that from Rishk outshide the dentisht.”

  “What is it a list of?”

  I show him.

  LIST OF HOW TERRIBLE MY LIFE IS RIGHT NOW

  1. Ralph is not my friend.

  2. I have a mouth full of filled teeth.

  3. I have a mouth full of filled teeth that will probably never fall out.

  4. Rick is going to make my life a misery at school because of it.

  5. I will definitely not win the competition now.

  6. I won’t get to ride The Kraken.

  7. I won’t get to meet Gregor the Gnasher.

  8. And Rick will!

  “Well, you can cross off number one for a start,” says Ralph.

  With my best attempt at a smile, I cross off number one.

  But Rick is still going to win the competition, and he’s still going to ride The Kraken, and he’s still going to get to meet Gregor, and I’m still going to be the dorky rubberheaded shark who everyone laughs at.

  This is probably the worst day of my life.

  I flop down onto my bed and put my hammer in my fins.

  Even with Ralph back, my life is a disaster.

  “How many fell out over the weekend?” asks Tony.

  I sigh.

  It’s Monday, the day the competition ends, and Joe, me, Ralph, and Tony are heading to school as usual. Apart from the fact that I still can’t eat anything crunchy or hard, my mouth is pretty much back to normal. I shake my ham
mer sadly. “None. Not a single one. Doctorpus Jones’s fillings have stuck them in like rock. Rick’s gonna win for sure.”

  The rest of the term is going to be quintuple-awful with Rick gloating about winning. He’s a show off at the best of times, but winning a ride on The Kraken is going to turn him into a nightmare.

  Cora and Pearl are waiting at the school gates.

  “Where’s Rick?” Cora calls as Donny swims up alone.

  Donny shrugs. “Dunno. Haven’t heard from him since Saturday.”

  Probably wants to make an entrance because he knows he’s won, I think bitterly.

  A taxicrab screeches to a halt outside the school gates, and Rick’s mom, Rosy, gets out. “Come on Rick, don’t worry, no one’s going to laugh at you. Get out.”

  What???

  I float closer, wondering what’s going on. A crowd of kids gather around the taxicrab and we watch as Rick fins his way out and proves his mom totally wrong.

  Everyone laughs.

  Even the taxicrab is chuckling to himself.

  When I bumped into Rick on Saturday I didn’t realize that he was on his way to Dotorpus Jones too! He must have really damaged his mouth slamming into the clamming frame at school, because his mouth has been wired up with an enormous steel brace. The metal climbs out of his mouth, goes up the side of his face, and ends in a huge wing nut on top of his head.

  He looks like an accident in a gate factory!

  Laughter follows Rick as his mom grabs his fin and steers him through the school gates. As they pass by Rick glares at me. “Shhhhssssht issssssth usssssssth wasssssssssssssht!!!!”

  “Sorry?” I say, with a huge filling-filled grin, “Did you say you’ve just come from a fancy dress party dressed as a gate?”

  “Sshsh! Krsssssssssssht!”

  “Say it, don’t spray it!”

  Although I know he’s still going to win the competition, I do feel a little bit better.

  In class everyone is really excited about the result.

  Except me.

  Instead of counting out our jars ourselves, we have to hand them in to Mrs. Shelby, and she will count them out for us.

  Rick tails my desk as he makes his way past, but I manage to stop my jar from falling over.

  Talk about a sore loser, Rick’s even a sore winner!

  Ralph’s eyes are bulging out looking at all the teeth in all the jars lined up on Mrs. Shelby’s desk. I can tell he’s thinking of the food that might be left on them and I can hear his tummy rumbling. I pass him the last uneaten krispies bar from my bag and he gobbles it up quickly with a smile.

  I take my jar up to Mrs. Shelby so that she can start counting. On her desk I see the Dregoland ticket for the exclusive preview of The Kraken.

  Great.

  So close and yet so far.

  I look around, and see Gate-Face-Rick at the back of the class with Donny. They’re looking at the new Dregoland brochure, which has an awesome picture of The Kraken on the front. Rick is pointing at it and Donny is nodding happily.

  I return to my desk in a huff.

  “Don’t worry, buddy,” says Tony, seeing how upset I am. “You can go with your parents another time. It’s not the end of the world.”

  No, it’s not.

  It’s worse than the end of the world.

  I shrug at Tony, “It’s all right for you; you don’t care about winning. But Rick beats me at everything, and there’s nothing he likes more than rubbing my hammer in it. He’s going to be showing off about this for months.”

  Tony turns away with a smile. “It really won’t be the end of the world if you don’t beat Rick, you know.”

  When she finally finishes counting, Mrs. Shelby floats up in front of her desk. “Well, it’s been an excellent competition this year, and it’s been very close!”

  Everyone except me cheers.

  I sink right down in my seat.

  “For quite some time, Rick and Harry have been hammer and nose, and we’ve all been excited as their totals went up,” Mrs. Shelby continues, fixing me and Rick with a hard stare. “I can’t say I approve of their methods during the last few weeks, but at least now they’ve both ended up at the dentist, and they’ve learned how important it is to treat their teeth with respect.”

  I’m sinking so low in my chair I’m in danger of sliding under my desk. I fold my fins across my chest.

  Just get it over with.

  “And that’s why I’m glad to announce that the winner is . . .”

  I can hear Rick starting to get up from his desk. . . .

  “Is . . .”

  Oh, get it over with!

  “. . . Tony the Tiger Shark!”

  Everyone goes wild.

  “What?” I yell.

  “Wasssth?!” shouts Rick.

  “Yessssss!” shouts Tony, doing twenty-four barrel rolls overhead. When he stops, he looks straight at me. “See? I told you it wasn’t the end of the world. My dad burned my dinner last night; it was so crunchy it knocked bunches and bunches of loose teeth out!”

  I high-fin Tony seven times.

  Gate-Face-Rick has flopped back into his chair, and Donny looks like he’s been slapped in the face with a wet anchovy.

  Score!

  Mrs. Shelby hands Tony the Dregoland ticket and he holds it in his fins like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

  Because it is!

  “Well done, Tony.” Mrs. Shelby smiles. “Now, who are you going to take with you to ride on The Kraken?”

  The classroom is suddenly silent.

  Cora flicks her hair and Pearl flutters her eyelashes at Tony. Joe’s bottom toots with tension so many times he’s propelled across the classroom like a rocket into the window. “Sorry,” he says from his now inside-out face.

  Tony looks around the class. “I’m going to take Joe the Jellyfish!”

  Joe toots, zooms, and hits the wall with a splat.

  “I’m also taking Ralph the Pilot Fish!”

  Ralph does four somersaults and goes green and looks sick, but still has a crazy smile on his face.

  “And lastly . . .”

  The whole class stares at Tony. Pearl’s eyelashes are setting a new world record for fluttering.

  Tony looks straight at Rick.

  No! No! No!

  Rick’s eyes light up. He can’t believe it.

  I can’t believe it!

  “And lastly . . . I’m taking . . .”

  “Yessssssth, yesssssht, yesssssht!” says Rick.

  “I’m taking . . . Harry Hammer!!!!!”

  No.

  Yes.

  No?

  Yes!!

  Hooray!!!!

  I zoom above the class with Tony, Ralph, and Joe, high-finning, yelling, and screaming.

  Not only am I going to see Gregor the Gnasher and ride on The Kraken with all my best friends and Rick isn’t, but because he can’t open his mouth to speak, he won’t be able to call me rubberhead or any other names.

  Finally, I have something to smile about-even if my mouth is full of fillings!

  THE END

  Meet Harry and the Shark Point gang. . . .

  HARRY

  Species: hammerhead shark

  You’ll spot him . . . using his special hammer-vision

  Favorite thing: his Gregor the Gnasher poster

  Most likely to say: “I wish I was a great white.”

  Most embarrassing moment: when Mom called him her “little starfish” in front of all his friends

  RALPH

  Species: pilot fish

  You’ll spot him . . . eating the food from between Harry’s teeth!

  Favorite thing: shrimp Pop-Tarts

  Most likely to say: “So, Harry, what’s for breakfast today?”

  Most embarrassing moment: eating too much cake on Joe’s birthday. His face was COVERED in pink plankton icing.

  JOE

  Species: jellyfish

  You’ll spot him . . . hiding behind Ralph and Har
ry, or behind his own tentacles

  Favorite thing: his cave, since it’s nice and safe

  Most likely to say: “If we do this, we’re going to end up as fish food. . . .”

  Most embarrassing moment: whenever his rear goes toot, which is when he’s scared. Which is all the time.

  RICK

  Species: blacktip reef shark

  You’ll spot him . . . bullying smaller fish or showing off

  Favorite thing: his black leather jacket

  Most likely to say: “Last one there’s a sea snail!”

  Most embarrassing moment: none. Rick’s far too cool to get embarrassed.

  DAVY OCEAN has traveled the seven seas in search of good seafaring shanties and fishy tales. He currently resides in a small fishing town that overlooks Shark Point and allows him uninterrupted access to the antics of a small community of hammerhead sharks and its fellow ocean neighbors.

  AARON BLECHA is an artist who designs funny characters, animates silly cartoons, and illustrates humorous books. His work includes illustrations for the bestselling book series George Brown, Class Clown. Originally from the United States, Aaron now lives with his family by the south English seaside.

  Aladdin

  SIMON & SCHUSTER, NEWYORK

  VISIT US AT simonandschuster.com/kids

  authors.simonandschuster.com/Davy-Ocean

  authors.simonandschuster.com/Aaron-Blecha

  READ ALL THE SHARK SCHOOL BOOKS!

  #1: Deep-Sea Disaster

  #2: Lights! Camera! Hammerhead!

  #3: Squid-napped!

  #4: The Boy Who Cried Shark

  #5: A Fin-tastic Finish

  #6: Splash Dance

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

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